Dead in the Water?

So that idea I mentioned in yesterday’s IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! podcast? I got it off the ground. I actually got off my ass and tried something new. Basically, the idea goes something like this.

There are a lot of podcasts out there that get awfully boring awfully fast. I enjoy podcasting, but just because I enjoy talking about stuff that’s interesting to me doesn’t necessarily mean you’d be interested in listening to me talk about it. So why not open up the forum for people to contribute by sending me ideas? I mean, I don’t want to be boring and you don’t want to be bored. And you’re probably going to be more interested in what you’re hearing if you had a hand in making somebody talk about it. Give folks the keys to the city, so to speak, and let them vote on what’ll be discussed. One could even open up the possibility of having people donate to put weight behind their vote.

So I picked a song that’s freely available for some opening & closing music, brewed up a cup of tea, and blathered the first thing out. Oh, the other gimmick? Unscripted, unrehearsed, unedited. A little raw, as it were. Getting the creative goods directly from the source without worrying about little hiccups or snags. A more conversational experience, rather than me acting like a professional on a pedestal dispensing precious knowledge to you peons below.

Then my wife woke up.

“Are you actually going to charge people to do your work for you?”

First of all, I’m not charging you. You don’t have to send me a dime. Yes, I’m poor, I’m underpaid and I’m struggling to create something resembling art without so much as recognition of that, let alone appreciation, from the people who actually do pay me to work. No, they just want to leverage me for more code to actualize their solutions and enhance their action item lists which includes golf outings and service appointments for their luxury cars. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to start bilking my faithful visitors for cash. If you like what you read, hear and see on this blog, by all means, show me some love. It doesn’t have to be in money. I am not charging you.

Second of all, if I am endeavoring to put together a collaborative experience for the listener, how is it making other people do my work? It’s more about people working together than me being lazy. I mean, yes, I am lazy. But that doesn’t mean I expect other people to do my work. I know there are about a thousand other aspiring creative minds out there in the same sphere to which I belong, but at the expense of sounding arrogant, nobody else in the world can do exactly what I do. I struggle to be original and non-derivative in my work. The degrees of my success are largely subjective. But the bottom line is, these are my ideas and I am working to make them successful. I don’t expect anybody else to pour in blood, sweat or tears to make these things happen. That’s all down to me.

Why am I not saying this stuff out loud? Frankly, I don’t think my arguments will carry much weight when spoken. I’ve lost some of my verbal debate skills. Besides, I feel more often than not like I’m existing in a vacuum, like the ideas I have aren’t any good to anybody but myself, and it’s better to just keep them to myself and trudge on in my daily life rather than blithering about like a moron until I’m doing it in an alleyway with a cardboard sign around my neck rather than sitting in a warm apartment with a couple of affectionate cats and someone who, despite regularly telling me how shitty my work is, seems to think I’m an alright guy. And, to be honest, she has a point, as she always does. Why put this idea out into the wilds of the Intertubes if I have no idea if anybody’s going to give a shit about it anyway? Why waste my time?

I guess I’ll go back to playing Star Trek Online and pretending what I do matters in the grand scheme of things.