Category: Current Events (page 13 of 91)

Retaliation vs. Retribution

Ghandi

I have hackles. I have more hackles than I’d like to admit. And when they get raised, it isn’t a pretty sight. I’m someone that believes that people in general should be treated with respect and understanding, And when they aren’t, be it in meatspace or on the Internet, I get angry about it. I cannot grok why patience and comprehension are so anathema to another human being. I get frustrated when someone cannot or will not imagine the other complexly. It makes me downright mad.

But how do I channel that emotion into effective change, and not just rage at the offense in impotence?

There is a difference, I feel, between retaliation and retribution. It’s the difference between revenge and justice. Societal standards of what constitutes justice can vary wildly in different parts of the world. Even in an internally demarcated entity like the United States, laws differ in wording, intent, or even existence from polity to polity, despite the presence of a unified overarching government.

I don’t think that changes the fact that people should expect a baseline level of respect, understanding, and compassion from other people.

Leaving aside arguments of semantics and specific polity laws, things like harassment and assault of all kinds, from verbal and emotional to physical and psychological, are revolting acts undertaken by petty or callous people. With selfish myopia and a twisted sense of what qualifies as ‘humor’, the perpetrators of such impersonal and belittling acts are not interested in promoting human well-being or making the world a better place; they are only in it for themselves, their advancement or amusement, no matter what the cost is on their victims. While I have seen examples of this in my personal experience, the most prevalent and extant environment in which these acts occur is the Internet. This is the realm of anonymous inhuman verbal assault. It is the realm of the ‘troll’.

Getting trolled or bullied online is something that’s existed since some person saw some other person do something they didn’t agree with, for whatever reason, and decided to use their anonymity to lash out. More recently, death and bomb threats against people based on their gender and opinions and SWAT teams being called down on opponents in a video game have become prominent examples of this endemic problem. But how does one go about addressing or correcting the issue without making it a simple and ultimately pointless act of personal vengeance?

Some people would say that the problem is non-existent or not that problematic. Others say that people – the victims, mostly – need to “grow a thicker skin” or “get over it”. This attitude, itself, is part of the problem, as it demonstrates a callousness towards the very real anguish people go through when they are personally attacked, belittled, harassed, objectified, or threatened. Just because one have never been a victim, or cannot imagine what it is like to be victimized, does not mean that a standard of justice is inconceivable or unobtainable.

The difference between retaliation and retribution is that retaliation is as personal and selfish an act as the assault itself. Retribution is calling upon a greater authority to visit justice upon the offender. In other words, if one party calls another a racial slur in the workplace, and the second party responds in kind or with violence, that is retaliation. If the second party, instead, brings the matter before their supervisor or a higher authority, that is retribution. In a similar vein, a police officer using extreme force on someone (say, someone stopped for a moving violation being arrested, detained, and murdered) getting shot down in the street is retaliation. That officer getting publicly reprimanded and, one hopes, stripped of their authority is retribution.

We need more avenues for retribution when someone is harassed, bullied, or singled out due to their race, gender, orientation, or outlook. We do not have the capacity to completely comprehend the circumstances of the others around us. We do, however, have the capacity to desire an amount of respect for ourselves, and to expect and demand the same for those around us in our lives. When the fear that overtakes a victim keeps them from seeking justice, it falls to us around them, in our communities and society, to counteract their fear (and, in some cases, overcome our own) in the pursuit of justice. And when that respect is undermined, ignored, or outright demolished, we have a duty to act as vectors of retribution upon the offenders. It is the only way we will progress as a species. It is the only way we prove we’re better than mere animals. It is the only way the better world so many dream of and strive for will survive.

Quick Update Post

I absolutely hate letting writing go undone for days on end. The problem is, when you have mental conditions that thrive in an environment of self-recrimination, a vicious cycle begins in which you admonish yourself for not doing the thing, you feel hatred towards yourself as a result of admonishment, you take time to recover from the admonishment instead of doing the thing, you realize the thing has not been done, and you’re back to where you started.

While I have been getting some work done on the novel, thanks to the use of the Writer’s Room, the blog has slipped. Between hunting down a job (which starts today!), and preparing for PAX and a move, and wrestling with all sorts of internal problems with relationships, demons, anxieties, and frustrations, making time to post about writing or gaming or anything has been difficult. I need to make it a point to do so, though, just as much as I need to make it a point to practice my guitar.

Oh, yeah. I was given a guitar. I’m stumbling my way through some basic chords and trying to fret properly. It’s an interesting and occasionally frustrating experience. But I think I’ll get through it.

I’m glad you’re reading these words. It really does mean a lot to me. I know I’m not a flawless being, and I make mistakes, and I even occasionally present problems or, worst of all, hurt people. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to. It’s never my intent. I know it doesn’t take away the pain or counter the cost, but rather than pretending I’ve done nothing wrong, I’d much rather do whatever I can to make things right.

Even if it’s just getting back on a routine blog schedule.

The “Starving Artist” Is Bullshit

Courtesy Warner Bros.

This is a discussion that’s come up over the last few days. I believe it was David Hill who brought it to light (as he tends to do, verbose and uncompromising firebrand that he is), and Chuck Wendig, of course, dropped the definitive word-hammer on the issue with trademark aplomb. All I can really add is my personal experience and perspective, which boils down to this:

Being an actual starving artist absolutely sucks.

I have been without dayjob work for almost two months. Freelance work has been difficult for me to find. I’m at the point of applying for whatever I can find, just to pay the bills. This is in the middle of needing to find a new place to live, preparing for summer events, and managing my bipolar disorder, anxiety, and interactions with other human beings.

Oh, and I should still be writing somewhere in there, right?

One of the reasons I applied to use the Writer’s Room at Seattle’s Central Library is that it is a quiet, secluded place away from just about everything that could distract me. I bang out words there without issue or interruption. But as much solace as I take from my productivity, I know that, for now, it is only a temporary respite. At some point, I have to leave the sanctuary. I have to face the pressures and requirements of the outside world. I need to acquire income, to pull my weight, to feed my body so my mind can keep making words.

Ideally, making words is what would feed me, but I have no illusions that such a day is far off. I have a lot of work to do to have anything publishable that can give me a living source of income. Until then, I need to figure out a dayjob. Because starving sucks.

Now, I haven’t actually starved yet, obviously. I’m hungry, sure. Approaching desperation, maybe. But I’m privileged like crazy. I’m white, male, educated, and have the support of family and friends. Other artists aren’t so lucky.

I want to echo Chuck’s sentiment from his post: take care of yourselves. Make ends meet any way you can. Get a foundation of some form of security under you, a roof over your head, a means to keep yourself fed. It will go a long way to relieving your anxiety and depression (which, as an artist, you DO NOT NEED) and help you be more productive and working harder towards your true, ultimate goal.

It’s what I’m doing.

And despite the steps in the direction of my goal being painful, confusing, and frustrating, I’m still making them.

You can, too.

500 Words on Chaos

Chaos.

I really can’t think of another word that adequately describes my life of late. I’m still looking for a dayjob, something to pay the bills and give structure to my days. I am now looking for a new place to live. I’m counting out pennies to make sure I can eat, my partner can eat, my cats can eat, my car has gas, and my ORCA card is active so I can get downtown. And on top of all of that, I’m needing to stay on top of my writing, my gaming, and taking care of myself in such a way that I don’t go completely off the rails.

This is why I don’t do well in start-ups. It’s why I’ve never gotten a business of my own off of the ground. Chaos of this nature – persistent, pervasive, day-to-day uncertainty – doesn’t jive well with me. Running a show or helping with an event is fine. Short bursts of chaos I can help manage is very much in my wheelhouse. But not knowing where my next client, article, or meal is coming from? It’s hard for me not to panic in those circumstances.

Other people thrive in those environments. I’ve seen it. I’ve sat with people who revel in the uncertainty. They’ve asked me hard questions about what I want, and blinked at me when I’ve struggled to keep up with them. I’m just not wired the same way they are, I guess.

I’ve had difficulty imposing my own structure upon myself due to a lack of stability and income. It’s hard for me to put mental cycles towards the creation of a schedule when I don’t know where my next meal or fuel refill is coming from. It’s probably a failing of my own brain, and it’s something I really need to work on.

I actually miss working in an office. I miss the structure, the community, the certainty. I was comfortable at my old job back east. Sure, I made some mistakes (don’t we all?) but I worked hard to improve on my performance and contribute as much as I could to the workplace. As much as I needed to move away from software development, since my strengths lie elsewhere, I’d like to think I made a difference. It’s a difference I’d like to make again, for a new firm, a new group of co-workers, a new office.

I’m writing this from the home I’ll be leaving in less than a month. Hopefully, I can keep going downtown to write at the Library, as I have no distractions there to keep me from making words happen. And I’ll try to get back on a regular blogging schedule. Even if I have to put the post up from Starbucks. SPL’s wireless can be spotty, and as much as I might get dirty looks from certain parties, Starbucks’ signal hasn’t let me down yet.

And their tea lemonade mixes are astounding, as well as not terribly expensive.

What? Hydration is important.

500 Words on Suicide

Courtesy The Telegraph

I’ve long had a great deal of respect for Sir Terry Pratchett. His novels set on the unique and impossible geography of Discworld have spoken to me for more than a decade. Good Omens is one of the best novels I’ve ever read. His prolific and unrelenting schedule of writing and releasing his works simultaneously inspired me and made me feel woefully inadequate to the challenge of being a published author.

And then, later in life, my respect for him only grew due to the following statement, made in 2009:

“It should be possible for someone stricken with a serious and ultimately fatal illness to choose to die peacefully with medical help, rather than suffer.”

For the most part, suicide has little to do with making a statement or getting attention. It’s about pain. People want to make the conscious choice to stop their pain, or to remove a perceived pain being inflicted upon others. Those afflicted with a terminal illness do not wish to become a burden to their loved ones, nor do they feel strong enough to go through a protracted, withering, slow death, especially if they suffer from a condition for which there is no known cure.

Those of a similar mindset to the one Sir Terry entertained have a desire to have a peaceful, quiet, dignified death, an opportunity to clearly and completely bid farewell to their loved ones. I can’t see anything wrong with that. Especially if someone has lived a full and productive life, and brought joy and enlightenment to others, perhaps even the world, I think they deserve to be empowered to make that choice. Our brains are how we process the experience of our lives, and in most cases, the engine that drives our dreams and our ambitions. If that is going to fail you, and you know that you must face months or years of slow deterioration of everything you and your loved ones once held dear, can you honestly say that choice should be denied to you?

Thoughts of suicide often accompany mental illnesses as well as terminal ones. There is often a perception that things are worse than they are. The result of ill-advised actions or incomplete communication result in distrust, damaged relationships, even the devastation of rejection, loss, and abandonment. Be they the victim or the cause of it, the individual feels their pain keenly and perceives the pain in others. They want it to stop. Especially in the cases of those who have been through one similar experience too many, ending their pain once and for all presents itself as a viable option.

This is not something I can objectively comment upon, save to say that help is available, and things are rarely as bad as they seem. If you or a loved one suffers from a mental disorder, and self-harm is imminent or feared, the index of suicide hotlines in the United States can be reached at (800) 273-8255. The counselors can help you.

Trust me – there is hope.

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