If this is the most important thing in the world to you, it’s time to have a talk.
I’ve said in the last couple days that I am either in love with or obsessed with Enforcing. I don’t take that sentiment lightly. As rewarding as the experience was, as wonderful as making so many new friends makes me feel, as affirming as it might have been to be helpful, useful, and enduring throughout the weekend, it would be unhealthy of me to make it the entire focus of my life. Geeks have a tendency to obsess, something I know through some experiences I am loath to repeat.
Don’t misunderstand me, enthusiasm is a good thing. I’m quite enthusiastic about Enforcing, as well as writing, gaming and game design, movies, music, and so on. Enthusiasm is what keeps people interested in their passions and their arts, that helps them endure the drudgery of the day so they can experience what they enjoy later. Enthusiasm is not the enemy, and should even be encouraged, as being dispassionate is just as unhealthy as being obsessed.
In fact, obsession with one thing can lead to a lack of passion or interest in other things, which are arguably more important. As much as you might think your World of Warcraft guild’s raid schedule might be, you do still have to do your homework, laundry, or other household chores. You can’t flit all over the country for conventions and hangouts when that money should be used for medical procedures, care of your family, or paying the bills. You might think that being in a teleconference with your corporate cohorts in EVE Online is the most important thing, but that couldn’t be further from the truth if your wife and kids are feeling neglected and marginalized while that’s going on.
I’m not saying don’t have fun. I’m not saying gaming is the enemy. That’s the sort of knee-jerk reactionary rhetoric you’ll get from some supposed news outlets and sensationalist narrow-minded pundits masquerading as journalists. I am not a journalist. I’m just another geek, and I know from experience that geekdom that becomes obsession leads to broken homes, shattered dreams, fractured hearts, and even damaged minds. I’ve spent the better part of ten years coming back from one of the worst blows dealt to me in my entire life, and it came from my own brainpan, my own neglect, my own obsessions. I’m saying, my friends, that we must be mindful of what draws us in and lights our fires. It’s good to be warmed and illuminated by those flames, but if you don’t manage that fire, it will consume you.
Take the time to get your life right. Sort things out and make sure you’re not losing anything crucial by pouring yourself into something insignificant. That purple loot, those enemy ships, your favorite star or the latest episode or the next event or release – none of it matters, in the end, if it costs you friends, family, or sanity. And even if you think you’re fine, take a moment to look at those around you, at your spouse or children or co-workers or close friends. It only takes a moment, but it can change, or save, your entire life.
Some of the earliest, most indelible memories some of my generation has when it comes to video games involve taking a sword from an old man who just spoke those fateful words. “It’s dangerous to go alone.” The world is going to try and kill you. Monsters prowl in the shadows, ready to destroy your body and devour your dreams. Perils you won’t see coming are fully prepared to swallow you whole. You need to defend yourself. You must be prepared to combat your challenges and overcome your obstacles. “Take this.”
We didn’t know it at the time, but this wasn’t just advice that applied to the world of Hyrule. It applies to our world, too.
We may not have to deal with the extant threats in many video games, but the world is still going to try and kill you, spiritually if not physically. I’m not talking about religion specifically, but rather in terms of the human spirit. The singular and the extraordinary are far, far too often pushed and held down by society at large, and it’s easy to fall into a pattern of conformity and ‘normal’ behavior, just to get by. But not everyone can pull off acting ‘normal’. For some, it’s a daily challenge, and some days, it’s an hourly one.
I’ve both faced this struggle myself, and done my utmost to help others cope with it. It’s easy to think, in our darkest hours, that we’re facing these challenges alone. And it’s dangerous to go alone.
The fact is, however, that we are not.
Take This is, according to their site, “a charitable organization founded to increase awareness, education and empathy for those suffering from emotional issues, their families and greater institutions with the goal to eradicate the stigma of mental illness.” While not exclusively dealing with the gaming community, the founders work within that community, as journalists and organizers, and so focus a great deal of their outreach to gamers, through sharing stories via their website and holding panels at events like PAX.
I’m a little lucky, when you get right down to it. I share my stories allthetime. I have some skill at articulating myself and the means to do it. I let myself take the time to breathe, to contemplate, and to share. Not everybody is so lucky. Not everybody feels they have a safe place to unburden themselves of the pain and anxiety and uncertainty and loneliness they feel.
And the fact is, everybody should have that.
That’s why Take This matters. They’re just getting started, and I want to see them grow. Their first PAX Prime panel last year was a great success, as was their first ever at PAX East 2014, and they’re returning to Boston next month (PAX East 2014, Arachnid Theater, Friday 12:30 PM, BE THERE). Their site is full of stories that have needed to be heard, they’re going to be looking to grow as much as possible, and they can’t do it alone. None of us should be alone in this fight. Our chances of survival are much greater if we face our challenges together.
The world is a dangerous and cold place. Emotions and mental imbalance can topple even the best of ideas when the world gets involved. It’s dangerous to go alone.
To be honest, I kind of hate the word ‘productivity’. I hate the connotation that human beings need to produce to be valuable. Tireless housewives & househusbands produce nothing other than hot meals, clean laundry, and support for their hard-working spouses. Why should they be valued as lesser than someone who spends 18 hours of the day in an office?
That said, there’s a part of me that continues to romanticize the idea of freelancing as a career. Leaving the flat only when I want to, or I need more half-and-half or Johnny Walker Black. And maybe not even that, if I can move to a state that doesn’t have such strict laws regarding alcohol. Anyway, that in and of itself is going to involve some legwork, some networking, some time carved out around my current schedule to try and line up more work from various places to keep myself fed and housed.
I really can’t complain too much about my position at current, at least in terms of my specific dayjob as related to a certain skill set I possess. Everything I wrote about this morning is general, head-space stuff that would apply to any corporate gig. Nothing specific is wrong with my current situation in and of itself. I’m being deliberately vague. I hate doing that. But it’s a necessity of things like NDAs and not wanting to put my problems on other people when I can avoid it. Meh.
~
It’s been a long day. I only just now got in from the office and running by the store. Not literally running, of course. I don’t live that close to the office. Be kind of funny if I did, though. How would the days I suit up work, though? Would I have to strap a garment bag to my back? Roll up in my gym shorts and running shoes, then duck into the men’s or the VP’s office to change clothes? Not everybody likes me after a run. I tend to feel good, but apparently the sweat I generate is just too much for some.
Anyway, I’m home now, and I still have more ‘productivity’ ahead of me. Revisions to Cold Streets, freelance seeking, maybe even a first stab at some things for a new novel. Something, anything, to get me out of the creative ditch I’ve been in for roughly half a year. Maybe more. I really don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve seriously given up entire mornings or afternoons or evenings to what I really want to be doing with my life.
But I have to start somewhere. Or, more accurately, start over somewhere. I’m told it’s never too late to start over. I really hope that’s true.
Incidentally, the Friday 500 seems to be more stream-of-consciousness than anything, and I think that helps me. It almost feels Thompson-esque to write this way.
Don’t worry. If I start seeing phantom iguanas, or rambling about bat country, someone’s bound to call the cops. Or an agent.
You might think, from the title, that this is going to be another post about Netrunner. As much as I could ramble about cyberpunk card games until the post-apocalyptic cows come home, I want to talk more about the weather. No, not the weather in Night Vale, that’s yet another post. Lately the weather where I live has been cold. The winds have teeth. Snow is everywhere. And slowly but surely, almost every surface has languished under a coat of ice.
We’ve had to dig ourselves out of weather like this, situations like this, before. Even if you haven’t (in which case, consider yourself very fortunate), I’ll enumerate to facilitate better understanding. We have a bit of a hibernation instinct, the impulse to withdraw from the biting winds and damaging cold, to retain all the warmth we can by staying as huddled and insulated as possible. Whatever we leave behind, whatever escaped our notice in our withdrawal, becomes encased in that ice we’re desperate to avoid.
So it is with projects we leave behind. It could be for any number of reasons – fatigue, stress, more pressing projects, mere distraction – but whatever the cause, we put our ideas on a shelf in the freezer of the mind, to preserve it for later. Thankfully, ideas do not themselves suffer from freezer burn; the only real danger is that time may have made the idea too hip or too passé to be completely actionable. But no idea is completely without merit. All you have to do is break the ice around it and see what you have to work with.
This goes back to reinterpreting the entire concept of writer’s block. I maintain that it doesn’t really exist, at least not in the form of some ineffable construct that simply appears in the path of the writer. What does exist is this reshuffling of priorities in our heads. If you feel like something is preventing you from doing what you want to do, all it takes is some time to recharge, rethink your approach, and maybe break the ice covering something in your mind that hasn’t had attention in a while. I’m sure, in some case, there are truly daunting things in the way that can mess up one’s personal productivity, so I don’t mean to generalize. However, for the most part, if you’re wondering what’s happened to that idea you once had, if it’s any good or if there’s something fresh about it you can use elsewhere, I encourage you to dig it out from the back of that mental freezer, chip off that ice around it, and see what you can do.
Normally this is my Writer Report slot, but one of the movies I’ve been the most excited about in a long time finally got a full-length trailer last night, and as much as I’m sure other, bigger sites are doing write-ups of it, I want to get my own two cents out there because people should see this when it comes out. So, in case you missed it on Jimmy Kimmel last night, or if you just want to watch it again, here’s the trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy.
Breaking it down:
In General: This is really encouraging. Guardians is Marvel’s gutsiest move to date. None of these characters or worlds are anywhere near as well-known as The Avengers are these days, and the House of Ideas have a bit of an uphill battle getting butts in the seats. This trailer is a masterful move. It introduces the characters (we’ll get to them), gives us a bit of the alien worlds and cultures we’ll be dealing with, and hooks us with familiar music, promises of action, and tastes of the film’s comedy. Speaking of which…
Tone: Some folks may be upset that Marvel tends to lean towards the comedic side of things, from Tony Stark’s constant wise-cracking to some of Loki’s less genocidal antics. However, anybody who’s read Guardians in the last few years, be it written by Dan Abnett or Brian Michael Bendis, will tell you that the tone set by the trailer matches the tone of the books exactly. Despite the grave threats they face protecting Earth and other worlds from on a daily basis, the Guardians never take their work or themselves too seriously, especially…
Star-Lord: As the human character of the group, Peter Quill’s the audience surrogate and access point for the weird and wonderful cosmic world we’re going to be seeing. Again, the tone of the character feels pretty spot-on. The characters who don’t know him (Korath, the Nova Corps, etc) have a really hard time taking him seriously, which is kind of perfect. It already feels like a refreshing change from the dire, dour tone of other super-powered being films (looking at you, Man of Steel). This guy isn’t seen as a savior or a Chosen One, he’s seen as a nuisance, moreso than any of the other Guardians. The comic nerd part of my brain is uncertain some of the interesting minutiae will be seen in the film, as his race is listed as Terran meaning they don’t notice or want to discuss his half-breed nature, and I’m not sure we see his trademark Element Gun… and then he yawns while standing in line-up and I forget what I was worried about because I’m grinning again.
Drax the Destroyer: Bautista is perfect for this. Between The Man with the Iron Fists and Riddick, I can tell you that the guy is really good at commanding the screen just with his imposing physical presence. Drax is a lot like that: He doesn’t necessarily need to say anything to make you back away slowly covering your genitals. The shots we have of him in the line-up and under Nova Corps scrutiny look like someone who just wants to rip something, anything, apart, but he’s behaving himself because he’s saving that rage for someone who’s really asking for it. The detail in his red accents, seen in motion, are actually a really nice touch to the character.
Gamora: I have no doubt whatsoever that Zoe Saldana can pull off playing the deadliest woman in the universe. Pretty much everything I’ve seen her in has displayed her confidence and ability to disappear into her character. Gamora is the kind of person who knows exactly what she wants and how to get it, and I don’t think we’re going to have any trouble seeing her as an equal to Drax when it comes to physically throwing down. We don’t get as much of her action as we do a tasteful shot of her back, but Gamora’s always been equal parts ass-kicking, genius and sex appeal. Her little smile during her intro seals the deal.
Rocket Raccoon: I’m actually glad Rocket didn’t say a word. I hope Marvel conserves as much of this guy’s attitude and dialog as possible so audiences really fall in love with him on opening day. The mere concept alone should be enough to sell people: He’s a four-foot humanoid raccoon that likes big guns and bigger explosions. The fact that he’s constantly cracking wise is and should be just a bonus.
Groot: Again, less is more when it comes to Groot. His somewhat curious expression and the reactions of the Novas were pretty much perfect. This presentation can and should make people interested in what he can do. Audiences aren’t used to seeing something as strange as a walking tree-person, at least outside of Lord of the Rings, and his inclusion on the team should really round things out.
Nebula: Most people know Karen Gillen as Amy Pond from Doctor Who. It may come as a shock to them to see her playing Nebula, a very nasty character from Marvel’s cosmic side. I won’t speculate on the role she’ll play in this film, save to say she might also be after that orb Peter’s seen trying to grab in the beginning of the trailer. Oh, and remember the big purple dude grinning at the end of The Avengers? That’s Thanos. Nebula’s his daughter. And he’s the guy Drax is mad at. Just putting that out there.
The Kree: We only see Ronan the Accuser for a brief moment, manhandling Drax, and from the start of the trailer we see the great Djimon Hounsou as Korath the Pursuer. I’m excited to see the scope of the Marvel Universe open up to include new races and groups, and the Kree look suitably intense, the more human-like but no less threatening counterpart to the Skrulls/Chitauri.
The Nova Corps: On top of a main antagonist and a new alien presence, we have what amounts to a space police force. Rather than overcomplicating things, they’re a great touch. The Guardians tend to be seen more as troublemakers than saviors, and it makes sense that a neutral party would come into play to keep things from going too crazy. As an aside, the practical costumes of the Nova Corps look a great deal better than anything the similar group on the DC side, the Green Lantern Corps, wore in their movie. Plus John C. Reilly, who is always excellent in supporting roles, is Rhomann Dey, one of the most famous Novas ever.
The Song: This is the cherry on top of everything. It’s catchy. It’s the sort of Earth tune Peter would carry in his Walkman – yes, that’s a Sony Walkman from the 80s. It’s funny. And if you’re anything like me, it does, in fact, get you hooked on a feeling.
Overall:Guardians of the Galaxy has always been Marvel’s answer to Farscape or Firefly. It’s a story about a far-flung group of misfits working together to go after nastiness pro-actively. The diverse characters, the outlandish locations, and the sheer oddity of deep space are a heady cocktail in and of themselves, and if this trailer is anything to go by, a hefty dash of sincere humor and splashes of frenetic, visceral action have been added. I, for one, can’t wait for August. I try not to get too optimistic about films before they come out, but for what it’s worth, I think this is going to be a fantastic time at the movies.
