Next week, I will be out of town, visiting the in-laws up in Canada. However, the blog will not be idle. I’m preparing a series of posts looking back on some of 2013’s entertainment. I hope you enjoy it!
Not much else to say, really. I’m hopeful that some time away will help clear my head and get me back on track. I have some pretty high targets to shoot for in 2014.
Hanukkah has come and gone, Christmas is right around the corner, and Kwanzaa begins right after that. We’re in the thick of what’s colloquially known as ‘the holiday season’. This is a time of warm wishes and good cheer.
I certainly hope you have both of those.
Me, I’m struggling.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for a lot of the good things in my life. But I’m also keenly aware that there are still quite a few goals I have yet to achieve. I’m envious of my past self, the self that had boundless energy and could have accomplished anything. I’m frustrated by daily tasks and chores. I’m struggling daily to maintain at least the semblance of a positive attitude so I don’t completely alienate those around me. And I’m trying to track my finances and be generous to others so I’m neither broke nor a complete shitheel.
I know a lot of people complain around the holidays, for a variety of reasons. The last thing I really wanted to do was engage in a whole mess of belly-aching and whining. I really hate doing that. Yet, here I am, on my blog no less, pouring all of this out through my keyboard onto the screen. Have I really lost this much of the plot? Do I honestly have nothing else to say? I should rambling about my Hearthstone decks, or discussing the board games I’ve gotten in the mail, or talking about my writing progress. I should praise a friend, or analyze a movie or TV series, or at least work on an author page for Facebook because, sooner or later, I’ll need to start self-promoting again.
It’s times like these when I know I should just be bootstrapping my own emotional state. As I am the only real presence inside my own head, I should be the final arbiter of what comes out of me in terms of words and feelings and action. There is a gate between what I think and what I say or do, and I am the gatekeeper. Security has been lax of late, it seems, and I need to lock that shit down. I’m no good to anybody curled up in a corner and crying.
Besides, the bitter cold of winter can’t last forever. And I really am grateful for the good things in my life. I’m trying my utmost to hold on to those things, and disregard the things that are holding me back or dragging me down. I try to step back, observe the situation, and remind myself that the lion’s share of this dreariness is all in my own head.
This is Christmas. I should be happy. I should be content. I should be positive.
At the very least, I’m going to try.
Winter brings a lot of things with it.
It brings snow, ice, and cold winds. It brings holidays, travel, gift-giving, and an overabundance of consumerism. And, for me, it brings long lulls between truly rewarding writing sessions.
I’ve felt a general lack of storytelling overall in the past month or so. Even casual exchanges have fallen away. I’m out of the habit of writing letters and even interesting emails to friends. Godslayer remains the story I most want to give the once-over to, yet all I’ve been able to muster is a few notes in my new writing notebook, jotted down during a lunch break so as not to forget them.
I have so much I need to do. I need to get back on track with exercise. I need to keep my attentions keen in certain areas. I need to stay on top of what’s going on with the dayjob. But most of all, I need to write more.
I know all the words already. Not the words I need to write, necessarily, but the words I need to hear to make me write again. The words won’t write themselves. You never get back the time you waste. You should be spending this time writing. Why aren’t you writing? Doesn’t the world need your art? ART HARDER, MOTHERFUCKER!
These are all things I know. Things that gnaw at me. And I’m going to get myself back on the right path.
I’d do it sooner if I weren’t so damn tired all of the time.
Yesterday was what I’d formerly call a ‘snow day’. On a day when winter weather is keeping me indoors, you’d think a lot more writing would get done. However, it turns out that along with the ice and snow, I got a heap of work that I needed to finish. Getting everything done consumed most of the day, and I was left with little time and energy afterwards to write.
So I’m pushing this week’s review until tomorrow and hopefully returning to an office-based routine today.
Also, why isn’t there more Adventure Time on Netflix?
I’m crossing my fingers and knocking on wood (ow) in the hope that the worst of 2013 is behind me, and that the new year will not open with bad news. Cold Streets is still getting tested, and I’ve got a decent idea of what to shore up, what to cut, and what to expand. I’ll wait until everybody’s chipped in, though, before I get started on that.
In the meantime, I’ve been getting more ideas about Godslayer. Specifically, how it should begin. My recent foray back into TV-watching has had me taking in some cracking good pilots, and they all have a few things in common. They hit the ground running with their stories, they get the audience invested in their characters and worlds pretty quickly, and they don’t over-complicate the opening of a long narrative. I think a lot of genre novels can have trouble doing this, and I would rather not be counted among them. Especially if I want to gear Godslayer towards a younger audience.
Let’s see, what else? Got some local projects cooking. Keeping up with Flash Fiction. Still not sure if Fantasy Flight would be interested in a novel set in the Twilight Imperium universe.
Was something else happening today?
Eh.
Couldn’t be that important.
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