Category: Opinion (page 16 of 18)

Trek through Trek: The Animated Series

Trek

You might be expecting me to discuss Star Trek: The Next Generation next in this series, but that would be disingenous to the actual chronological order in which the universe of Star Trek developed over the years. For 2 seasons, the blink of an eye by the standards of some series, Star Trek returned to television in the 1970s, but these adventures of the Enterprise and her crew were not filmed – they were drawn.

Courtesy Paramount

Star Trek: The Animated Series aired between September 1973 and October 1974. It was the only Star Trek series to win an Emmy as an exemplary television series. Granted, it was in the same category as Captain Kangaroo and the Pink Panther, but an Emmy’s an Emmy. The original cast with the exception of Walter Koenig returned to lend their voices to their iconic roles, while new characters and concepts were introduced that would not have been possible given the original show’s budget.

Despite the flexibility offered by the animated medium, an unfotunate side effect of going in that direction especially in those days is the occasional color discrepancy. From time to time, you might see Captain Kirk wearing a red shirt instead of his usual gold, while McCoy might wear gold instead of the typical blue. Additionally, some footage might get recycled, showing officers standing where they shouldn’t or an away team with more members than originally shown. Finally, the show’s director, Hal Sutherland, had a particular form of color blindness that affected or even amplified the color issues, especially in the case of the tribbles in Kzinti. To Hal, pink was light gray. So, when sci-fi novelist Larry Niven brought his fearsome feline Kzinti into the show, instead of seeing this:

Kzinti

…the Kzinti appear like so…

Pink Kzinti

…which doesn’t quite have the same impact.

Still, the Animated Series continued to break new ground in television. It remained consistent in its championing of diversity and fearlessness. It introduced us to the holodeck (then called the recreation room) and continued storylines established in the original series such as the misadventures of Mudd and the rivalry between Kirk and the Klingon captain Kor. It also introduced us to Lieutenant M’Ress:

M'Ress

And so, Star Trek furries were born.

At a mere 22 episodes, the Animated Series had the shortest run of any Star Trek show before or since. For a while, the episodes were not even considered canonical. However, references to aspects of the show began to sneak into other iterations, from the appearance of Caitians (M’Ress’s race) in Star Trek IV to callbacks to full episodes in Next Generation and Deep Space Nine. Despite the somewhat dated look of the series, there’s solid writing and memorable characters that rivals the original series, and if you can find the DVD of these animated adventures of the Enterprise, you’re bound to have fun watching.

Not-so-new Rules

George Carlin gave us some new rules to follow back in 2006. To make sure you have all been doing your due diligence, here they are again. Enjoy.

EDIT: I have been informed that these rules actually belong to Bill Maher, but since I like George more and miss him terribly, I’m not changing the picture associated with this post. It would require an act of God for me to do so, and since Bill doesn’t believe in God, he’s kinda screwed.

George Carlin

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There’s reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years. Because you don’t particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don’t eat anything that’s served to you out a window unless you’re a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was (suspected to be) found in a bowl of Wendy’s chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you’re gay. If you’re a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you’re a grown man, they’re pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here’s how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we’re done.

New Rule: There’s no such thing as flavored water. There’s a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket – water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That’s your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop fucking with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that’s square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a “decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n’-Low and one NutraSweet,” ….ooh, you’re a huge asshole.

New Rule: I’m not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing “Enter,” verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don’t want cash back, and pressing “Enter” again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn’t make you spiritual. It’s right above the crack of your ass. And it actually translates to “beef with broccoli.” The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren’t pregnant. You’re not spiritual. You’re just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn’t a sport. It’s one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What’s next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They’re already doing that. It’s called “The Howard Stern Show.”

New Rule: I don’t need a bigger mega M&M. If I’m extra hungry for M&Ms, I’ll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you’re going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what’s playing on the other screens. Let’s remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn’t good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it’s for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn’t gift giving, it’s the white people version of looting.

New Rule (and this one is long overdue): No more bathroom attendants! After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can’t even tell if he’s supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don’t want to be on your webcam, Dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don’t need to know in months. Not “27 Months.” “He’s two,” will do just fine. He’s not a cheese. And I didn’t really care in the first place.

Programmatic Mission Statement

code

My career path has been, to say the least, an odd one. I knew that published fiction was a tough field to enter, and that attempting to make a living from it directly out of university would be difficult, if not impossible. That knowledge, coupled with a challenge issued by a flatmate, pushed me in the direction of honing my nascent skills with computers into usable and marketable skills.

Things didn’t go so well in that regard. I worked for a few years in customer service, specifically tech support for a company in the wilds of Pittsburgh. I managed to squeeze in some freelance web work here and there, but never really found the time to truly develop my programming skills. A renewed search for the expansion of my knowledge and marketability lead me to a course in King of Prussia for Microsoft certifications.

It turns out the network administration environment and I don’t get along. There’s a great deal of stress and immediacy, no margin for error and no room for creativity. I struggled with the job daily until I lost it. Finally, after months of searching, I found my first true programming job. I’ve moved from there to another position and it’s come time to define what I want out of this particular branch of my working life. The more I work with PHP, the more I develop object-oriented solutions in Flash, the more I realize I need to be specific about my idea of a good career if I want to be happy to hop in a car or on a train to head to the office.

Don’t get me wrong. I consider myself a writer first and foremost. It’s the creation of new worlds, putting interesting characters into those worlds and setting events in motion that affect those characters that gets me up in the morning and makes me feel alive. Programming, however, is something of an extension of that. To that end, here’s something I’d like to call a ‘programmatic mission statement.’

Courtesy Leslie Town Photography

The creative mind is like a thoroughbred horse – it requires a firm but flexible grip, one that does not allow the beast to run wild, but also one that permits some leeway, lest the creature rail against its control and fight to be free. Just the right balance of control and detachment puts new ideas on the path to greatness. You know what you want, but permitting your trajectory to follow its own course allows for growth, stays agile in the face of inevitable setbacks and lends a sense of adventure to the overall process.

They’ve called it “the information superhighway.” If you want to travel on it, you’ll need a good vehicle. ‘Good’ is a subjective term – maybe you want something you don’t have to worry about, or perhaps you’re looking for a high-precision machine stuffed with power and bursting with cool gizmos. Either way, you need someone who understands both the beating heart of an Internet vehicle and how the paint’s going to look to visitors after everything is said and done.

That’s where I come in.

I take the ideas that float around the subconscious mind and make them manifest. I find new ways to get things working. I get my hands dirty. It’s messy and magical all at once. I turn dreams into gold – one jot & scribble, one line of code at a time.

I think that makes things pretty clear. It’s a shame it took me the better part of a decade to finally put this notion together. I’ll still be pitching to the Escapist, working on stories and columns and chipping away at the latest iteration of my first novel. But in the meantime, I have bills to pay and mouths to feed and, unfortunately, I haven’t quite earned the writing stripes to leave the day job behind. Until I do, I’d still rather do something I enjoy than flip burgers or stand on a street corner.

Trek Through Trek: The Original Series

Trek

Between the Fan Collective DVD sets to which I have access, either through direct ownership or asking my parents very nicely, and the intelligent and hilarious opinionated reviews by sfdebris (even funnier in video format), I’ve been watching plenty of Star Trek lately. It’s not just good entertainment, it’s rich background material for anybody doing something creative in the science fiction genre. Ronald D. Moore used his experiences as a producer on The Next Generation to shape his re-launch of Battlestar Galactica, and when it came time for Joss Whedon to put Firefly down on paper, he likely looked at Star Trek almost as a reminder of what he didn’t want to do – no faster-than-light travel, no aliens, etc. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

What I’d like to do is look at the five Trek TV series on the whole, discuss how they came to be, what makes them stand out and where, with the benefit of hindsight, one might see room for improvement. It makes sense to begin at the beginning, with Gene Roddenberry’s original series.

NCC-1701

It was the 1960s. A bitter Cold War was on between the United States and the Soviet Union, exemplified in, among other things, the space race. Voices of the generation were raised against what they saw as unjust or dictatorial practices, seeking equal rights for minorities and women as well as protesting the evils of war. Nuclear annihilation was a daily fear and television was coming into its own as a form of escapism for any household fortunate enough to own a color set.

This was the world into which Gene Roddenberry introduced Star Trek. Up until this point, popular science fiction had been limited to the campy likes of Buck Rogers and Flash Gordon, movie serials playing in the local cinema rather than the comfort of one’s own home. Most of the general population, then, expected Star Trek to be full of ray guns, rocket ships spouting fire from their backsides and villains dressed in bright robes with names like Ming the Merciless. The closest thing to what Star Trek brought to television was 1956’s Forbidden Planet.

Kirk

In Star Trek we have the interstellar star ship the USS Enterprise, captained by one James T Kirk. Kirk and his crew are representatives of the United Federation of Planets, an organization of worlds promoting peace and exploration. In keeping with this somewhat Utopian society, the bridge crew includes an alien, a black woman, an Asian helmsman and, from the second season onward, a Russian navigator. The ship also has a Scotsman down in the engine room and a cranky country doctor in sickbay. This diverse crew will be doing more than flying really fast and shooting at bad guys: they negotiate treaties, investigate the unknown and travel through time.

The crew also slipped quite a few things passed NBC’s censors. Instead of being simple shallow entertainment, Star Trek’s writers, like the fictional crew, boldly forged into new territory. They tackled topics like race relations, sexism and war, using the Enterprise and her crew as an allegory for the United States of the day. While the scripts of the show were not immune to the frequent tampering by network executives and corporate sponsors, couching these controversial themes in science fiction trappings allowed a lot of the true innovation of the series to slip by unnoticed. Thus, at the same time communicators and transporters are introduced, we see hated enemies coming to an understanding and even grudging respect (“Balance of Terror”) and television’s first interracial kiss between fictional characters (“Plato’s Stepchildren”).

However – and this might be where I start getting flamed, folks – the show isn’t perfect. Roddenberry was adamant that his crew avoid interpersonal conflict. When Kirk and Spock battle in “Amok Time,” it’s done with Spock under the influence of the Vulcan pon farr, meaning he really isn’t himself and would never harm Kirk in other circumstances. While this reinforces the Utopian ideal of the Federation, it isn’t what I would consider realistic. Individuals with different upbringings are going to have differing opinions that may escalate into arguments and conflict, and this is just when those in questions are all humans. Throw aliens into the mix and the chances of conflict rise exponentially. Also, while the writing often goes in bold directions for the time, there is the occasional inexplicable weirdness of episodes like “Shore Leave,” where McCoy encounters Alice’s White Rabbit, “The Savage Curtain,” where the Enterprise crew battles evil alongside Abraham Lincoln, and “The Way to Eden,” in which the Enterprise is hijacked by hippies. Finally, the show was produced in the 1960s, so some of the effects can seem somewhat dated by today’s standards.

Despite the previous paragraph of nit-picking, science fiction wouldn’t be where it is today without the sizable contribution of Star Trek. In addition to it’s various innovations, it’s good television, more often than not written well with compelling characters and interesting stories. Unfortunately it only lasted three seasons before finally succumbing to the machinations of the network. It was followed by the well-done animated series in 1973, of which I’ve only seen a few episodes, and the first seven films of the Star Trek franchise, which may gain their own entries in upcoming IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! posts. In any event, what keeps it from being a mere footnote in the ever-evolving field of science fiction is the quality of the storytelling. Yes, the effects might not have aged well and sometimes the 60s-era writers get a little baked and produce something odd, but overall Star Trek set the standard for innovative, socially-aware and damn good science fiction delivered right to your TV set.

Trolls In Suits

Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love Critics

Professional Troll

Criticism isn’t something you should fear.

Even if it’s not meant to be constructive, criticism can be used to shore up your work. There will always be someone out there who will test your work for flaws and point them out for you. Some even manage to make a pretty good living doing it. Roger Ebert and Yahtzee come to mind.

Critics aren’t just educated sadists, either. More often than not, they’re tearing something apart to uncover its flaws so that consumers who agree with their points of view won’t end up wasting their money on a product that will disappoint them. Legitimate criticism, even when it takes the form of an angry rant, is more a force for good than anything else. As much as you might disagree with a given critic – Lisa Schwartzbaum giving New Moon a B+ for example – they are operating as a consumer advocate.

Criticism serves another purpose, however, one that might not be intended by the critic themselves. If the creator of the subject of criticism is aware of the critic’s viewpoint and can see the merit in their arguments, it can be the impetus for the creator to review their previous work and, rather than simply doing more of the same to milk the same cow, build on the established strengths while discarding or paring out the weaknesses. As much as I think the man’s lost his mind, George Lucas was at least somewhat aware of the criticism leveled at his prequels. Jar Jar was watered down to a few blissfully short lines, the story took a darker and more mature turn and we were given more insight into Palpatine’s rise to power and the last days of the Jedi. Too bad it continued to be poorly written and badly acted, with a few exceptions.

If you’re at all involved in a creative process, be it writing or game design or sculpture or movie production or basket weaving, know you’re going to have critics. Some of them will be fully invested in helping you improve your work, and some will be complete strangers who make what are, to you, baseless accusations. While you have the option of completely ignoring your critics and instead looking to your bank accounts for validation, there’s plenty of evidence to suggest that just because something is a financial success doesn’t mean it’s work you should be proud of. Some people are just in this business to make money – and as much as I might disagree with that mentality towards things like writing, I can’t begrudge someone for being successful in a field that’s very difficult to break into.

However, I know that I am not alone in not wanting to be merely a successful writer, but a good one as well. So I’m open to criticism. I know it’s going to come sooner or later, and as long as it doesn’t make my work unpublishable, I’m willing to consider the points being raised if they’ll improve the overall quality of the work. This is something that has only come with time and experience. If you’ve never tried to get published before, the rejection and criticism can be devastating. It’s a hard lesson to learn, and it can’t really be taught, only experienced: being criticized and rejected should not make you quit.

As I said in my Changeling review, quitting is the only way we truly fail in our endeavors. Critics should help you do the opposite of quitting: a constructive argument, even if it’s not phrased as one, should provide you with impetus to not only continue creating, but to improve the creation. After all, if you quit, more than one of those critics will simply be laughing at you for being a coward. Carrying on in the face of adversity and rising to even greater heights in a subsequent effort, on the other hand, is a surefire way to shut those critics up.

So expect criticism. Take it with a grain of salt. Sprinkle that salt into your mix to make it tastier. Before you know it, you’ll have the creative equivalent of a culinary masterpiece, and even the trolls will be begging for seconds.

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