Reviews – Page 23 – Blue Ink Alchemy

Tag: Reviews (page 23 of 36)

Game Review: Team Fortress 2

In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit that I never played the original Team Fortress (now dubbed Team Fortress Classic). I don’t know if I ever had enough friends who also played that could have helped me assemble a decent team. But the appeal of the idea was never lost on me, and with the advent of Team Fortress 2, as part of the Orange Box, the burning coal of an idea concerning team-based class-focused competitive shooter action has been refined to the point of diamond pearlescence.

With an aesthetic that’s one part The Incredibles and one part Sam Peckinpah, Team Fortress 2 introduces us to rival companies Reliable Excavation & Demolition (RED) and Builders League United (BLU). These companies employ a variety of mercenaries in an attempt to secure various construction sites. Some of them are the sources of a valuable resources and others are the secret location of some sensitive documents. Whatever the reason for the spit of land in question to be fought over, RED & BLU reveal themselves to be dedicated to defeating each other to the point of people blowing each other into juicy chunky bits in the name of their employer’s victory. It’d be a somewhat chilling commentary on the cutthroat nature of business and the brutality intelligence agencies are capable of perpetuating, if the game wasn’t so hilariously over-the-top and presented like an animated 60s Bond film with more explosions and less voluptuous women.

The focus here is on the co-operative nature of team game play, and so the aesthetic is designed to ensure that any players class, current weapon and team affiliation are easy to determine at a glance. Because sometimes a glance is all you get before parts of your body are flying in all directions. In a similar mode of thought, the maps of the game are not interested in being visually intricate in the manner of some Halo environments, nor are they the dingy corridors or dank caverns of Gears of War. While most of them tend to be somewhat arid and unadorned by vegetation, they’re also easy to navigate and provide not only open areas for large skirmishes but various ways for players interested in using stealth to get into positions while those laying traps have plenty of spots from which to choose. Speaking of which, the classes bear particular mention, in that the phrase “something for everybody” has never been more true in a gaming sense.

Awesome comes in a variety of flavors.

The nine classes are broken into three broad categories: Offensive, Defensive and Support. Offensive classes are all about taking the fight to the enemy. The Scout is concerned with speed first and foremost, getting right into an opponents face and either blasting them with a sawed-off shotgun or beating them into a pulp with a bat. The Soldier uses a rocket launcher at range, a shotgun close-up, and a shovel when maggots just get too close to the guy’s war face. The final offensive class is the Pyro, who not only pushes back enemies with their flamethrower but can also light invisible spies on fire just as much as everybody else. Defensive classes, on the other hand, are designed to make sure that getting close to them is a bad idea. When it comes to blowing things up, the Demoman is unmatched, using either standard grenades from a launcher to blast oncoming threats or sticky ones to lay traps for unwary intruders. Fans of flying bullets and a metric fuckton of health need look no further than the Heavy, whose multi-barreled companion Sascha mows down the opposition as the player takes on the role of mobile wall of enemy deterrent. The Engineer is more of a stationary defender, building sentry guns of ever-escalating power and complexity in order to dissuade anybody from the other time from getting close. Finally, the Support classes are those that fall into neither offensive nor defensive roles exclusively, but exhibit flexibility in their specialization. Paramiliary units wouldn’t last long without a Medic, and this class is just as much at home supporting an offensive push as standing behind the Heavy to ensure there’s no shortage of gatling-flavored death for all comers. The Sniper can perch either over an area where his shots will clear the way for an offensive push or back by the friendly objective to create a place full of would-be infiltrators. Last but certainly not least is the Spy, the gentlemanly backstabber who must carefully choose when and where to reveal themselves regardless of whether they’re sneaking into an enemy base, pouncing on the stragglers in an assault or sabotaging a nest of defenses.

If you’re at all interested in shooting stuff with or at other people, chances are one of these classes will be up whatever alley happens to be yours.

“One of you ate my sandvich! I know it! I MAKE YOU CRY SOME MORE!”

Given its emphasis on co-operative play, Team Fortress 2 is one of those games best played with people you know. This can be a group of friends or an organization like a clan or guild, but either way, my experience has been that randomly joined games are nowhere near as fun as those played with folks with whom you’re familiar. Given the pervasiveness of verbal abuse and elitism among on-line game players, especially on Xbox Live, joining a random game of Team Fortress 2 might just turn some people off of the concept. Mastering any one of the game’s classes takes practice, and doing so in an environment where you’re being reminded of how much you suck can be quite a deterrent. Then again, that could just be my opinion, given that somewhere along the line I turned into a big fluffy care bear.

Regardless, if you can find a bunch of people playing on the same platform, seeing a plan come together in Team Fortress 2 can be a fun and rewarding experience. If nothing else, the way in which the game is presented makes it notable, unique and downright awesome. The gameplay itself might not be for everyone, but I’d be surprised if there was someone out there who didn’t appreciate the time, effort and sheer amount of fun represented by the various Meet the Team videos. It’s difficult to find anything overtly critical to say about an online shooter focused on co-op play that’s balanced between the disparate roles people might wish to play, and I’ve yet to play the Steam version that includes updates with unlockable weapons and costume changes. So, instead, here’s that picture of the Sniper again, because if I do dive back into Steam to play Team Fortress 2 in the near future, you’ll likely find me donning a hat decorated with ‘gator teeth and keeping my eyes peeled for those pesky Spies.

It’s a good job, mate.

Stuff I Liked: Balanced classes in co-operative setting under the pretty peerless direction of Valve.
Stuff I Didn’t Like: Again, it’s a personal thing, but some of the people in random games who trash-talk new players just for being new & inexperienced really rubbed me the wrong way.
Stuff I ~~Loved~~ Love: The aesthetic, spirit and mentality of this game and its ongoing production makes me strongly inclined to give it another go as soon as I can afford to download it via Steam.

Bottom Line: Well, I just said I’m going to find a way to get it on Steam, which is probably about as definitive a recommendation as I can muster. I don’t want to discourage Xbox owners from playing, either, and if you find a few of you are on a server hosted by Xbox Live, drop me a line. I just might show up.

Orange Box Reviews: 80% complete.

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! The Fifth Element

April 23, 2010 / BlueInkAlchemist / 5 Comments

[audio:http://www.blueinkalchemy.com/uploads/fifth_e.mp3]

Originality is a rare commodity in movies these days. Adaptations, remakes and wholly derivative works clog the cinemas and jostle one another in cajoling you for your money. There was a time when an original spectacle didn’t have to count on a phrase like “You have to see it in 3-D to get the most out of it.” I’m speaking here of films like Metropolis, Blade Runner and Akira, films with such singular and original visions that they blew minds when they first debuted, and in some ways still remain fresh by the light of modern screens. This is not to say The Fifth Element ascends to that sort of cinematic pantheon, but it does provide some stunningly unique visuals that speak to the ambition, passion and imagination of its creator. And it’s a blast to watch.

Our story begins in 1914, where an archaeologist in Egypt uncovers an ancient tomb where a desperate battle was once waged. Every 5,000 years, a great and powerful evil force crosses into our universe from parts unknown bent on wiping out all life – at least on Earth, it doesn’t seem to make any other pit stops. Anyway, the archaeologist translates the ancient depiction to tell us that the only way to defeat this evil is with the four elements – air, fire, earth and water – gathered around a mysterious fifth, an ‘ultimate warrior’. No sooner are we given this exposition than the imposing but benevolent Mondoshawan aliens arrive, revealing that the four elemental stones and the warrior (in a sort of statue stasis thing) were right under the archaeologist’s nose, and now must be removed from Earth due to the oncoming World War. It’s when the movie time-skips ahead 300 years that director Luc Besson completely assaults our eye sockets in a way most would probably thank him for.

New York City, 2263. Reports are coming to Earth of a giant ball of fire impervious to damage and on a collision course. With help from a terrestrial priest, the Mondoshawan contact Earth with the intent to return the five elements to battle the incoming evil, but they are intercepted by vicious thug-like and extremely unpleasant aliens called Mangalores. All that is left is the hand of the Mondoshawan’s passenger, and through super-science, Earth technicians reconstruct the ultimate warrior, revealing it to be a beautiful if waifish humanoid who promptly escapes. Korben Dallas, played by Bruce Willis as a mix between Butch from ‘Pulp Fiction’ and a futuristic John McClane, is a retired space fighter pilot and special ops soldier making a living as a cab driver when the warrior, ‘Leeloo’, drops literally into his lap. Korben and Leeloo end up working with the priest to retrieve the elemental stones, which are also sought by malevolent arms dealer Zorg, who employed the Mangalores but isn’t really the most scrupulous of business partners. He likes to blow things up, especially people who disappoint him.

I’m starting to think there’s no role Gary Oldman can’t absolutely nail.

What we have here is indeed a mish-mash of elements. Mysticism, cyberpunk, blazing sci-fi gunplay and some generous portions of ham are all mixed up in a very colorful and boisterous way. This is a film crafted and directed with a bit of abandon, a touch of whimsy that clearly has roots in the genesis of the story, which director Luc Besson wrote when he was a teenager. When it comes to cinematography, set design and special effects, this movie not only delivers but holds up despite the way in which graphics have marched on. The aliens not only feel real, given that they’re not composed entirely of pixels, but they also seem… well, alien.

To some, the entire film might feel that way. Some people might not be able to allow the visuals to overcome some of the way the elements of the film don’t blend as smoothly as they could. Others might feel it’s a tad long in the tooth, from the first scene in Egypt to sequences like Leeloo learning about war. And I’m sure that while I found Chris Tucker’s extremely flamboyant intergalactic DJ “RUBY RHOD!” to be hilarious more often than not, some might get rubbed entirely the wrong way by him. Other characters may feel one-note, underdeveloped or just outright insufferable. Broken into individual elements, there’s a lot in The Fifth Element that has no right whatsoever to work as well as it does in the final equation. It’s an over-the-top and completely off-the-wall sci-fi pantomime, which might put it in the “Pass” column for some people.

No, no, no, Leeloo, I said ‘Pass’. Not ‘Multi-Pass’.

However, to others (including myself), that’s part of its charm. Much like Flash Gordon, the sense of camp and self-awareness that permeates The Fifth Element keeps it from being taken too seriously. And when viewed merely as a feast for the eyes and two hours of escapist fantasy fun, rather than a treatise on The Power of Love or a would-be usurper of the Star Wars juggernaut, the film reveals a sense of humor not just about itself, but the genre in general. It’s light-hearted, surprisingly quotable and unafraid to make some of its set pieces, costumes and characters downright ridiculous in the name of having a little fun.

The Fifth Element is ultimately harmless, diverting and enjoyable if you can forgive some of the rougher patches in the storytelling in terms of scene length and characterization. It doesn’t make apologies for itself in that regard, however. It’s completely committed to delivering this campy, colorful and rather unique vision of the future, which in my opinion is a nice change from the many variations on dystopia that seem to have come to dominate a large portion of the genre. There are plenty of great moments to carry a viewer from one scene to another, and many stand out in retrospect, from Zorg introducing his multi-use BFG to the Mangalores to the show-stopping Diva performance. Fans of science fiction, unique costuming, great make-up work and actors having an all-out blast with their roles could do a hell of a lot worse than The Fifth Element. Throw it on your Netflix queue and give it a look. Some might say it’s “So bad it’s good” and others claim it’s “So cool it’s awesome.” Personally, I’m one of those balls-out weirdos who happen to think it’s BOTH.

Josh Loomis can’t always make it to the local megaplex, and thus must turn to alternative forms of cinematic entertainment. There might not be overpriced soda pop & over-buttered popcorn, and it’s unclear if this week’s film came in the mail or was delivered via the dark & mysterious tubes of the Internet. Only one thing is certain… IT CAME FROM NETFLIX.

Game Review: Half-Life 2 Episode 2

April 21, 2010 / BlueInkAlchemist / 0 Comments

After the success of the main game, Valve embarked upon an experiment in episodic gaming, the first portion of which I’ve already reviewed. The second was the keystone in the Orange Box release, and having played it, it’s clear to see why it featured so prominently. The immersion and pacing that made the previous Half-Life titles so singular continues to fire on all cylinders, and while it’s still somewhat short it’s no less satisfying to play than the previous episode.

If this Strider could speak, it’d likely say “OH SHI-“

Half-Life 2 Episode 2 begins literally where the first episode left us, in the wreckage of a train leaving City 17. Gordon and Alyx are now outside the city limits, in the wilderness surrounding the metropolis where they spent most of the last 2 games. The core of the Citadel, having reached critical mass at the end of Episode 1, is now channeling power into an ominous ‘superportal’ hovering over the city. The data that allows the aperture to remain open is crucial to preventing a further invasion by the villainous Combine, and Alyx has a copy of that data. To halt the Combine war effort and give humanity a chance, Gordon and Alyx must get the data to the old missile complex known as White Forest, where Black Mesa scientists may have finally gotten an edge on the Combine war machine.

While Episode 1 focused on character development, the second installment takes on the themes of exploration and free-form battles. From crawling through the squick-inducing tunnels of the antlion hive to driving at entirely unsafe speeds through the forest in the Muscle Car, Episode 2 expands the world of Half-Life 2 far beyond City 17’s limits. There are some moments of tranquility amongst the chaos of war, and when battles break out there is no one correct way to proceed. Setting traps, rushing in headlong and luring enemies into sniper-friendly locations are all viable options. Antlion workers appear for the first time, giving the insectoid race some long-range support, and then there are the Hunters.

Is the Hunter a portent of things to come?

The battle involving both Hunters and Striders working together makes for a pulse-pounding experience, as the player rushes from one hotspot to the next to prevent the Combine from destroying all of the effort made by the Resistance to mount a reasonable counter-offensive, to say nothing of Gordon’s friends. It’s easily the most ambitious battle sequence Half-Life has featured in any of its titles, and it rivals any of the similar sequences of games in the Halo and Gears of War franchises in terms of scale, pacing, tactics and consequences.

The best part of Half-Life 2 Episode 2, for me at least, are little things that expanded upon the story and added to that sense of immersion. The vortigaunts play a major role in the episode’s events, we get the sense that humanity is definitely no longer taking the Combine occupation laying down and there is the triumphant return of D0g. It would have been even better if we knew what happened to Barney Calhoun following his escape from City 17 with his fellow Resistance members, or if Episode 2 had not ended as it did when it did. Which is not to say the ending is bad – it’s actually pretty phenomenal. I just hope Valve will forgive us for throwing controllers and screaming in frustration because that’s how it ended and we’re still waiting for Episode 3???

Good d0g.

As an aside: Is it just me, or did using a crossbow and a vintage muscle car make anybody else feel like Willem Dafoe in Daybreakers?

Stuff I Liked: Valve’s creativity is still center-stage, with the dialog, the area design, the intelligence of enemies, the Magnusson Devices, killing Hunters with their own flechettes… I could go on.
Stuff I Didn’t Like: DAMMIT VALVE, WHERE’S THE REST OF THE GODDAMN STORY?
Stuff I Loved: Half-Life 2 and its episodes has some of the strongest characterization I’ve ever seen in a first-person shooter. I want to play more of these games, or just play the Orange Box titles over again, just to spend more time around them. Even the new guy, Magnusson, has an interesting personality, though it borders on the insufferable at times.

Bottom Line: What do you mean, you don’t own The Orange Box yet? Here, let me illustrate my point a bit more clearly, I just need to find my crowbar…

Orange Box Reviews: 60% complete.

Game Review: Half-Life 2 Episode 1

April 18, 2010 / BlueInkAlchemist / 0 Comments

Half-Life 2, as I’ve discussed, is a great game. But it leaves the player wanting more. Even people who aren’t playing it, who sit beside the player wrapped in their Snuggie watching the action unfold and occasionally laughing at player error or wincing at bad things that happen to Gordon, found themselves asking “That’s IT?!?” Well, happily, Valve chose to continue the story of the game in a series of smaller episodic installments, the first of which being Half-Life 2 Episode 1.

We pick up right where Half-Life 2 left us, with silent uber-nerd protagonist Gordon Freeman separated from his would-be fixer, the G-Man, by a helpful and powerful group of vortigaunts. Gordon wakes up buried in rubble, and D0g helpfully digs him out. Alyx is very pleased to see you, but the happy reunion is short-lived. The reactor at the heart of the Citadel, which dominates City 17 and serves as the headquarters for the Combine, is on the cusp of going critical. Despite having just narrowly escaped the place just moments before, you and Alyx must venture back into the Citadel to stabilize the reactor and buy yourselves enough time to evacuate the people you can from City 17.

Much to my delight, the bulk of Half-Life 2 Episode 1 is spent traveling and fighting alongside Alyx. It never feels like an escort mission, though, as Alyx is more than capable of taking care of herself. She’ll often scout ahead of you, man gun emplacements and even snipes a bit at one point. Everything that made her a standout character in the original game is present here, and then some.

Smart money says the antlion eats a lead salad.

Episode 1 is quite a bit shorter than the original game but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Packing the sort of action, survival horror, storytelling and humor that makes Half-Life 2 such a good gaming experience into just a few chapters is no small feat, but Episode 1 pulls it off. There’s a bit more emphasis on story and less on extended sequences of dealing with zombies, fighting off soldiers or solving physics puzzles.

Which is not to say that such things aren’t present. You definitely will be doing all of the above. It just happens in smaller chunks that make it a bit easier to play the game end to end in fewer sittings. The distance between the enigmatic opening and eye-widening cliffhanger ending is shortened, and with the amount of action, intelligent writing and humor they’ve managed to cram between the two ends, you’re all but guaranteed not to get bored.

Stuff I Liked: Everything from Half-Life 2 that worked. Great battle at the end.
Stuff I Didn’t Like: The only really negative thing I can think of is that we didn’t see more of D0g.
Stuff I Loved: Alyx. Definitely one of the best companions of all time in a video game. Some of her lines are solid gold.

Bottom Line: Increases the value of The Orange Box by an additional 50-75%. Worth getting, worth playing, worth all the praise.

Orange Box Reviews: 40% complete.

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! Crash

April 16, 2010 / BlueInkAlchemist / 4 Comments

This week’s IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! brought to you by a generous donation by Benjamin Axel Jakobsson. Thank you for your support!

[audio:http://www.blueinkalchemy.com/uploads/crash.mp3]

When Hubilub asked me to review Paul Haggis’ Crash from 2005, he did so in the following charming fashion:

It won three Oscars and IT’S FUCKING HORRIBLE!. I hate it so much! It’s so stupid and preachy and…. GOD!

I’d seen the film years ago, and while I didn’t quite remember if it was all that great or not, I did remember feeling uncomfortable watching it, at times. If the film does have a message to shout from its pulpit, it goes something like this: PEOPLE ARE SELFISH PRICKS. It’s a message couched in one racially-charged conversation after another occasionally broken up with music that felt like it came from the secret love child of Enya and Coldplay. It’s got “Oscar bait” written all over it.

I can’t quite bring myself to call it “bad”, though.

Haggis: “Look, Academy! You can tell it’s art by the way it’s shot!”

It’s funny, actually, that I’m watching this right after having watched Pulp Fiction again. Both films involve different plots following an ensemble cast of individuals that weave into and out of each other. In the case of Crash we follow two married couples, two families and two sets of partners who live and work in Los Angeles and deal with issues of bigotry, racism and prejudice. Everybody screws up, everybody lets emotions get the better of them, and most of them learn something. It’s a little snapshot of the human experience, and the film tries very hard to err on the side of honesty about the human condition.

Let’s get the praise out of the way: the film is neither written nor acted badly. From bigger names like Brendan Fraser and Sandra Bullock to surprises like Ludacris, Michael Peña, Shaun Toub and Bahar Soomekh, the delivery of lines and flow of conversations feels natural more often than not. It does feel a bit more scripted than Pulp Fiction‘s dialog, but it’s not bad by any stretch of the imagination. In terms of cinematography, Crash is well-shot, presenting the situations and conversations in an unflinching manner. While this sort of straightforward on-location film-making does keep the audience focused on the meaning of a scene rather than distracting them with superfluous gimmickry, it also makes the heavy-handed nature of the film’s message all the more obvious.

Haggis: “IT’S ART I TELL YOOOOOOOU!”

And when I say ‘heavy-handed’, folks, I mean Crash drops meaning into our laps with all of the subtlety of an anvil dropped from the bomb bay of a B-52. It’s like Paul Haggis took the Avenue Q song “Everybody’s A Little Bit Racist” and re-scored it into a ninety minute operetta. If we were to compare Crash to, say, Schindler’s List, the most apparent difference is that Crash is an entirely fictional work whose characters and conversations merely serve as a vehicle for delivering this rather pedantic message, while Schindler’s List actually downplays the very real horror and tragedy of historical events yet still retains the power of its message without having to be blatant about it. Going in the other direction, take another look at Die Hard with a Vengeance some time. Seriously, the dynamic between John McClaine and Zeus Carver feels a lot more natural and realistic in terms of two men of differing races overcoming their prejudices than a lot of the stuff that happens in Crash. (Also, Vengeance has more gunfights and explosions. And Jeremy Irons.)

Back to Crash. If the film is to be believed, it’s not just that racism is bad and people are selfish pricks. Let’s see, there’s also the fact that just about everybody in LA is thoroughly racist, buying guns in the US is pretty easy for just about anybody even if the salesman is a fat bigoted pervert, and being a racist cop who abuses the position is okay as long as they do their job when its called for. And that’s just some of the unfortunate implications. As much as the script might not be terrible, the plot relies so much on convenience and contrivance that it seems to be talking about predestination and fate as much as it is racism. The pretentiousness of the message coupled with this reliance on the blatantly artificial construction of situations hurls the moviegoer out of the experience with all of the comfort and guidance of someone sitting in the sling of a trebuchet and kicking the release lever thinking that it’s an overly elaborate swing set.

Don can’t get into that War Machine armor fast enough, if you ask me.

I don’t want to give the impression that Crash is a bad movie. There are things in it that go just a bit too far and take away from the overall experience. The good acting is countered by contrived plot points. The decent conversations are balanced with the message that has all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. The end result is something that is, in my opinion, worth watching once or twice but not really deserving of much praise or attention beyond that, and certainly not Best Picture material.

As a personal aside as I wrap this up, I’ll admit I haven’t seen Brokeback Mountain or Munich, two of the other films up for the coveted golden statue back in 2006. I have, however, seen Good Night and Good Luck. That film is well-written, finely acted, intimately shot and uses a documentary style and a basis on real events to add weight to its message. It doesn’t hit you over the head with what it’s trying to say, either. It’s touching, funny and powerful. That film is Best Picture material. Crash tends to get a bit messy here and there. I’ve see worse messes, to be sure. So I guess Crash does get a recommendation, if you can get past the preachiness and the contrivances and the hammy moments and the laughably mournful score and…

Tag: Reviews (page 23 of 36)

Game Review: Team Fortress 2

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! The Fifth Element

Game Review: Half-Life 2 Episode 2

Game Review: Half-Life 2 Episode 1

IT CAME FROM NETFLIX! Crash

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